Gabrielle: Random

Tuesday, 12 January 2010

Random

Its been 3 years, how have you been ?

Been watching a drama recently and the male lead said that
no matter how much you have forgotten about one you loved,
having you forgot his name,
having you forgot his face,
having you forgot his voice,
having you forgot what both of you had talked about,
having you forgot what fun both of you had before,
one day on the street when you bump into him,
you will have a sudden spur of happiness in your heart.
A blissful feeling.

You remember the feeling of loving that person.

Because your brain remembers all the emotions that he once made you felt.

The memories of loving someone,
the memories of having been loved by someone
are the purest emotions buried in the deepest part of the brain.

Even all the visuals, audios, are all forgotten,
the feelings and emotions are forever locked in the limbic cortex,
where they will never be forgotten.

He will be there, in your deepest memories, eternally.

This part made me cry,
thinking that you'll be with me forever in my head until the day i die.

I do not need to be reminded by my limbic cortex that i loved you,
nor how you made me feel like i'm the most blissful person ever,
nor how you called every night, not uttering a single word, just to listen to my voice,
nor how you lay your hand gently on my back to encourage me to go on where i was breaking,
nor how you made my laugh with your lame jokes, telling me that i looked best when i smile,
nor the way you laughed, smiled, talked, blinked, breathed,
nor the way you played your sports,
nor the way you breakdown when you can't take the stress,
nor the way your name is spelt, or written
nor the way your voice sounded,
nor the way you gave me so much love.

I don't think i'll ever be able to forget all that, ever.
But will you remember me ?
Will you still remember my name ?
Will you still remember how its spelt ?
Will you still remember my face ?
Will you still remember my voice ?
Will you still remember all the times we spent together ?
Will you still remember how you guided me and taught me ?
Will you still remember how much i love you ?

If one day, if you forget all that,
If one day, if you and i happen to brush shoulders on the streets someday,
If something like that were to happen,
Will you have a sudden spur of bliss ?
Will you light up and smile ? Thinking that why this stranger could bring me such joy and happiness ?

Or would we just miss out on eachother, and continue to walk our own paths ?
Thinking that its just another stranger, another everyday stranger to chance upon ?

I don't feel an ounce of bliss when i'm with you,
Because i have not forgotten,
Not a single bit,
How painful it all was,
How much pain i went through to let it go,
How pitiful i was.

My chest just throbs in pain and agony everytime i see you.
Does yours do ?

posted by gabrielleteng at 01:54

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Tuesday, 12 January 2010

Random

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